The Musings of Luna Lovegood
by Smashed Sunshine
Summary: While the world moves round a girl sits alone in her room contemplating her own life. Luna has a crush on a boy but there were some things that people needed to work out for themselves and he was ever so dense sometimes!


**Authors Note: ** This is my first attempt at a Ron/Luna ship so I apologise if it isn't that great. As you might be able to tell from the title this involves the musings of Luna and how she feels on the night of the ball. This is a one shot fiction and I don't intend on carrying it on, but I may write a continuation maybe from Ron's point of view! Anyway, on with the show…

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything but words.

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**The Musings of Luna Lovegood**

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Comfortable high back chairs, the warmth of a fire, good food and amiable chatter contrasted darkly to the outside world. Out there were nightmares spun into reality by a spark of black magic. This magic was unimaginable by the pure hearted yet feared even by those who knew nothing of its existence. Even the simple minded Muggles who tried hard to ignore the other worlds around them would feel the shiver run down their spine as they stared out into the chill of the night.

It was the night that she disliked the most. 

A deep rumble sliced open the silence of the cool night air. It sounded like thunder to the untrained ear, but others knew better. More likely was it that there was a beautiful creature being slaughtered for the joy of it – its screams sounding like rolling thunder to let the world know of the crime. Or maybe it was some giant fist smashing into a well loved home. Maybe it was her home that was being destroyed.

Luna smiled to herself as she wrapped the large fur covered blanket around her. Yes, that would explain the commotion taking place in the dead of the night. Her mind conjured up images of her father bravely waving his wand and slaying the beast with a triumphant flick. Not once did she think of death, because it was death itself that crept the halls of Hogwarts whispering his lament. Once the war had started she had sworn never to think of the skeletal creature, because it would only bring fear. Ultimately, she had decided, death fed on fear – so if she was happy she would have nothing to fear and thus the vicious circle would be no more. 

It was Thursday and the dorm that was usually filled with noise was silent. Many of the girls that usually resided in the Ravenclaw common room, chattering about boys and such, were busy in the Great Hall. Luna didn't know exactly why though – Surely there were more interesting things to do then dress up and dance like lunatics. And they thought she was Loony! 

Dumbledore had thought it a good idea to let the students dance to forget their worries about the continuing war. Personally she thought this did more bad then good. By telling people that it was to help them forget, wouldn't it inadvertently make them remember more then before? Then wouldn't the day after be filled with guilt over having had such a carefree time while other people were dying to save them? With this in mind Luna had decided that she wouldn't attend the ball and instead would contemplate life. So much more worth while.

When it had first been announced she had considered going. It would be a chance for her to watch all the people and how they reacted to different situations. She loved that game. Being thought of as loony gave her the power to be alone and to watch what everyone else was doing. Sometimes it was fun to guess who liked who, but often it was too obvious for her liking. Then at other times she would notice other darker things. It was amazing how much hatred one person could give another. 

Draco Malfoy for example showed so much hate towards Harry. Luna didn't blame him though. This boy had had his father locked up in prison and his name dragged through the mud. Harry was noble though – his actions had been fair and good. Draco deserved to suffer the pains that anger and hatred brought. He would never be complete like the rest of them because he was too caught up in someone else's life. In other words he was living to make others feel exactly what he was feeling. In some ways she pitied him. 

 Luna drew her long legs up and rested her chin on her knees. She was sat on a deep window sill looking out into the dark of the night. From up there she could hear the mingle of music and chatter coming from the hall. It was only a slight comfort though because to her ears the overwhelming sound of silence was louder. At times it felt as if the only reason you couldn't hear anything was because someone didn't want you to hear. If she strained her ear just enough she was sure she could hear the chant of a human sacrifice going under way. Or maybe it was a fight ensuing between good and evil. If only it wasn't so dark she might be able to see!

Her eyes dropped close and she wiped away the sleep wearily. It was far too early for sleeping, she thought as her eyes tried to spot people wandering from the Great Hall. If she let herself sleep now then she'd never be able to watch the people coming back from the ball – never be able to hear what happened.

Even though she liked to think of herself above the silliness of gossip, it entertained her to hear about what everyone else had been up to. She enjoyed hearing other people's problems and stories of love because she didn't have any of her own to tell. Well at least she didn't have any that anyone seemed to be that interested in. It seemed to her that all anyone ever wanted to talk about was sport, which she had a little grasp of, and romance of which she knew nothing.

A slight blush tainted her cheeks red. So maybe that was a lie, but it was better to lie to yourself then other people, she thought. Her fingers toyed with the edge of her blanket, pulling away the pattern into loosened shreds. It was always a sign of nervousness. 

Ever since her fourth year at Hogwarts, Luna had been harbouring some what of a crush on the youngest of the Weasley men. At first she had simply thought of him as another goon that limbered along behind Harry Potter, now though she realised that maybe Harry wasn't the man she had first thought. Instead of being utterly independent he seemed to rely upon the friends he had around him. Ron was obviously, in her mind, the backbone of the group with his witty repertoire and charming good looks. He may not have stood out, except for his red hair, but he was stunning in a silent, totally unheard way.

When the ball had first been announced only a week ago she had decided to ask Ron if he could possibly attend with her. Hours of precious class time had been taken up be making a plan to ask. Should she use the word "date", or would that make him scared of long term commitments? Should she approach him when he was alone or with his friends? What should she wear to entice him to a positive answer? All these and many more questions had occupied her. Finally though she had come to the decision that the best course of action was to catch him before Potions, when he was most likely to have his mind on other things and say yes. 

A sigh escaped her lips as she toyed with a strand of blonde hair. Her other plans had worked in securing a friendship with him, but she had never been certain that he would come to think of her in any other way then Loopy Luna the resident nutter. At first she had thought it a good thing that she'd gained his friendship but now she knew it was just a hindering factor to it developing into something much more beautiful. Whenever she would watch him, he would be watching Hermione. There was defiantly something between them, she was sure it wasn't just her paranoia. 

Shifting slightly, she rested her back against the cool surface of the inner well. A shiver ran the length of her spine with satisfaction. There was always something amazing about the feel of cold stone against skin that had enchanted her from a young age. When she was five she remembered lying out in the courtyard of her home and looking up at the sky. The ground was dirty and she was wearing her brand new white dress. Her father had smiled at her and called her "Loony" for dirtying her expensive new clothing. All she had done was laugh at his stupidity. Wasn't it obvious that she was trying to camouflage the white so that any passing creature wouldn't notice her – she'd blend into the ground like a chameleon?

Squinting slightly, she strained to see through the darkness. She was sure she could see Ron alone, sat on the steps leading up to the main door. Though her certainty wasn't enough to warrant her leaving the safety of her dorm room - so she sat and observed the figure that sat half in the dark and half in the light shining through the large windows. It was defiantly a boy, because no girl in her right mind would wear a suit and not some dress to impress ever passing male. His head was cradled in his hands and even from this distance she could sense the unhappiness.

Luna leant forward and pressed her face up against the chilling glass of the window. It defiantly looked like a Weasley, and there was only one left in the school that was male. If she tilted her head to a certain angle the hair looked like a bright red. She leant away from the window and considered what to do. If she went out there she might seem to him a stalker. Then again he considered her to be that anyway… 

Maybe it had been a bad idea to follow him around so much, but she envied the way he had a friendship so strong it survived the end of the world. She wanted to study him and learn all his likes and dislikes so she would know for future reference, like when they were married. So she had watched him intently, with what she thought was a certain degree of discretion. Having large glasses didn't help the matter though, and he noticed her staring.

'Look Lo…Luna, I really need some, you know, erm, privacy,' he had said in what he must have thought was a firm tone, 'So please could you, erm, stop staring at me like that?'

She had nodded. Foolish boy. To think she would stop just because he needed privacy to stare at Hermione Granger. Well she was damned if she was going to follow the advice of a complete hypocrite. Maybe that's what attracted her so much to him – like her he was Loony! 

Moving away from the window, she ran a hand through her hair and stood up. She pulled a hand through her long blonde hair. Luna to save the day again, she thought as she pulled her robe on and made her way over to the door. From there she bounded down steps and ran through hallways, ignoring all the drowsy people struggling back to their dorms. It was crucial she reached Ron before he went back to Gryffindor tower. 

Once she made it to the main doors, she brushed past a couple of hormone crazed teens and stepped out into the chill of the dark. Cautiously she took a couple of steps and looked down at the figure. She'd been right – it was defiantly Ron Weasley. A smile curled her lips at the warm happy feeling that curled up inside her. She loved the way seeing him made her feel that little bit more alive then she normally did. He made her feel reckless and stupid all at that same time. 

'Ronald…?' she whispered to the figure. 

'What?' 

Luna considered her answer. What exactly was he asking? What was she doing there? What was it she wanted? A frown creased her forehead – the question should be why men are so complicated? They never specified what they actually meant when they spoke. When a man said "see you later" he didn't normally mean it. He never said when that would happen and normally just said it out of habit! 

'What…what?' she asked cautiously.

'What?!' Ron said in confusion. 

'What?' Luna asked with a tone of patience.

'Luna!' he exclaimed looking up from his seat. 'What is it you want before you drive me insane?'

'Look Ronald…' 

'It's Ron. Not Ronald.'

'But that is your full name isn't it? I mean why do you not like it?'

She watched as he ran a hand through his hair and growled with frustration. Every time she was around him he seemed to get like this. It was bordering agitation almost. Somehow she had a knack of making him angry without even having to do very much. Maybe he was secretly in love with her and that was why he fought with her so much. He and Hermione seemed to do it a lot…

'I'm really not in the mood for this right now Luna,' he sighed the sigh of a man with the weight of the world, 'why don't you go back inside and enjoy the rest of the ball.'

'Well that would mean that I would have had to have been there in the first place to enjoy it, plus the fact that I am not appropriately dressed for the occasion. Also, as you might have noticed, the ball has pretty much come to an end seeing as everyone is wandering off to their dorm. Therefore it would look a bit stupid if I went in there and stood alone…not that its ever bothered me before because I tend to spend a lot of time on my own in large places…' 

'Luna!' he said exasperatedly again. 'What is it you want?'

'I was going to tell you what I wanted before and you rudely interrupted me!' she sat down next to him. 'Anyway, as I was saying Ronald…'

'It's Ron! How many times do I have to tell you?!' 

'Twice it would seem.'

'Why do you have to be so precise about everything? Why can't you just leave questions as they are and not complicate things?' Ron said resigning, which made her smile. At least he had cracked. He always did if she talked long enough.

'I'll ignore that comment,' she breezed looking out into the night. 'I was just wondering why you were sat out here all alone looking slightly…well wet really.'

Ron snorted and looked at her in disbelief. A smile tilted her lips. She loved being brutally honest with people – it kept them on their toes. He always seemed shocked when she said what she was thinking. Then again she didn't always say what she was thinking when she was around him. She didn't think he'd appreciate being told that she thought he had beautiful eyes that seemed to stretch beyond eternity, or that she wanted him to hold her very much. It just didn't seem right. 

'If you must know, even though it is none of your business, I caught Harry and Hermione kissing under a table,' he said angrily. 'My best friends! Apparently they've been too afraid of hurting my feelings to actually tell me. Three months, she said. Three months they've been together and they didn't have the common decency to tell their supposed best friend. AND Harry knew how I felt about Hermione. How I feel.'

The anger that had been there at the beginning of his speech seemed to slowly fade away as he became more tired of his own existence. Luna knew very well what it was like to be in love with someone you couldn't have and even though she should sympathise with Ron all she could feel was happiness. Maybe now he would get over his pathetic crush on the Granger girl and remember that he'd been in love with her the whole time.

'You should be happy for them,' Luna mused as she twisted a strand of hair around one of her fingers. 'They obviously love each other very much.'

'Obviously,' he grumbled.

'Daddy always says there are plenty more sharks in the sea to rip your heart to pieces, so you might as well move on to another one.'

'That's comforting Luna, really it is, but I'd rather wallow in my own self pity thanks,' he said with sarcasm dripping tones.

'I'm just saying that you'll get over it. You have to because if you don't you'll lose your friends and then what'll you have left? Absolutely nothing! You'll end up walking the corridors all alone being avoided by everyone. Soon you'll become the butt of everyone's jokes and when they see you bumbling along, they'll point and laugh. Poor you…I pity you,' she said in a voice that suited her pity.

'Luna, why do you insist on putting me down when it's obvious that I'm already as low as I can get?' 

'Just putting you're feet back on the ground for you.'

She turned to him and smiled broadly. It wasn't that she meant to smile like a maniac, but it always came out that way. Smiling wasn't exactly what she was used too. Usually she'd just float about looking slightly away from her body, not smile and joke. He tried to give her a little smile back, but it came out as a worried sort of smirk. A sigh escaped her lips and she rolled her eyes.

'Snap out of it! She didn't deserve you anyway.'

'You're wrong. I didn't deserve her. She wanted the hero, not the sidekick who always gets things wrong. I had nothing to give her except anger and…and…chocolate,' he sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his robes sleeve. 'I thought this would be the night I told her…I spent ages planning out everything I would say and then she went off with Harry.'

'Why on earth do you want a girl who enjoys reading a book and lessons more then…well…whatever it is you actually do in your spare time. I mean she didn't exactly seem the climbing trees type, did she?' Luna said methodically.

'I don't climb trees.'

She shrugged. 'Well I'm sure you do something worth while and courageous.'

'No actually. I play chess and Quidditch.'

She shrugged again. 'I was close.'

There was silence as they both stared out into the grounds of Hogwarts. It was dark and eerie, only lit by the lights from within the castle escaping and the moon beaming in the sky. Somewhere in the distance Luna knew that someone had died, someone had been born and someone was making love. In a pub somewhere a drunk would be making his way home with a broken heart and a man would be wrapping his arms around the gentle swell of his girlfriends' pregnant stomach. Out there, cats roamed the streets, brushing their tails against each other. 

'So why didn't you go to the ball?'

'You never asked me,' she said with a sigh. 'You're not the only one who can't have what they want.'

Ron looked at her in astonishment. 'What?'

'What, what?'

'Don't start that again, you know exactly what I mean.'

'Actually Ronald Weasley I haven't the foggiest. Now if you don't mind I'm going back to my dorm,' she rose and gave him another maniac smile. 'Goodnight Ron.'

He raised an eyebrow at her in confusion and in questioning. She wouldn't answer though. There were some things that people needed to work out for themselves and he was ever so dense sometimes. She turned to leave with a bounce in his step.

'Goodnight Luna.'

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